


perfect storm

by stqrryniqhts



Series: Iron Son™ [8]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dissociation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Oops, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author is probably projecting, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-12 18:43:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21481084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stqrryniqhts/pseuds/stqrryniqhts
Summary: "I'm sorry." Peter whispers, looking hopeless. Harley sits next to the smaller boy, their shoulders tight against each other. Peter lies his head on his older brother's shoulder, silent cries filling the atmosphere around them as Harley wraps himself around Peter."We're going to be ok, Peter, I promise."
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Iron Son™ [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1392010
Comments: 1
Kudos: 148





	perfect storm

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for not posting for a long time! I had superrr bad writers block but hopefully I'm back and there will be more stories to come after this one!!  
enjoy<33

Peter can't _feel_ on days like these. The days when he's so tired that his mind doesn't process, when he can't tell if it's real emotions that he recognizes, or if it's just some illusion his mind has made up for him to decipher. It's when Tony isn't understanding his words because they aren't coming out like Peter would like, or when he get's mad at his father for messing up one question on his homework. But are those real emotions that he's feeling? Sometimes he can't tell.

Today is one of those days.

"Peter, come back here right now." Tony says a little too loudly while slamming something on the desk, and the boy almost flinches. This is the second time today that they've fought, and this time Peter had destroyed a project both of them had been working on for his suit. But what Tony didn't understand, was that it was an _accident_. The kid didn't mean to squeeze it too hard, it just happened.

Peter turns around, avoiding his dad's eye contact as much as possible. He slowly walks back into the room, so much anger and pent up emotions that had come out of nowhere flood his senses.

Where were his emotions been when Pepper told him that she loved him? Where were they when Tony called him his son for the first time since the adoption? Why are they here _now_, ready to explode from his mouth like a ticking time bomb?

"Peter!" Tony takes a step closer, and Peter's vision is red. "Are you even _listening to me_, son?"

_Angry. Peter is Angry._

_Better back up, go away._

** _Away, away, away._ **

"No!" Peter finally explodes, shoving Tony so hard from the shoulders that the man stumbles back, looking at his kid like he's become someone else. Peter takes two long strides towards the door, past Tony, shoving things off the counters, breaking glasses and shattering them in his hands. He wants to feel something, he_ needs_ to feel something. He breathes heavily, his mind going haywire and the numbness returning though his hands are bleeding. He doesn't want the numbness to return.

Peter turns back to Tony and stands in front of the one person who he used to think of as a father. Peter _so badly_ wants that warm and safe feeling to come back, for _feelings_ to come back. But for now, all he can feel is anger, so what better person to take it out on than your dad?

"I _didn't_ hear you, Tony." Peter is shaking, getting closer to Tony as the man stands stiff. "I _didn't hear you_ because I'm _too damn_ _busy_ trying to figure out whether me being here or not is actually what you want? Do you even want me here, Tony?" Tears are forming in Peter's eyes, his voice cracking. He realizes that another emotion is coming. It always goes that whatever the first one is, the second is always sadness.

"Pete," Tony starts with a loud voice, but it softens when Peter backs away from him. "What's going on?"

_No_, Peter's mind wanders, _you can't tell him. You are not going to spill your guts to him again. Remember the last time you did that? Huh? He told Pepper. He told Rhodey. He told fucking _doctors_, including Banner, even when he promised it was between you two, and you two _only_. So, no_, _you are not going to tell this man that claims to be your father, and who claims to be truthful. Not this_ liar.

Peter turns away from his legally adoptive father, swiping a quick tear and taking a shaky breath before turning back to him. "It's nothing, just forget it." Peter goes to walk away.

"Peter-," Tony almost says it with force, and Peter cuts him off.

"I said it's nothing, Tony!" And then he's gone.

-

Thirty-two hours.

It's been thirty-two hours since Peter has left his room, since the boy has slept. He keeps himself busy by doing homework, extra credit homework, and even projects that aren't due for a month. He works on his webs, web shooters, the design of his suit. He overworks himself, and during the nighttime he is kept awake by writing. He writes down everything that has happened in his life that made him like this. That made him numb. He thinks that all he can feel is sadness and anger.

Today he wrote about how loneliness feels, the type of loneliness that a large part of the population of the earth experiences.

_It's when you lose someone you love, the person who held you together, who gave you the courage for facing your fears, the light to your darkness. But sometimes the light can disappear. It fades from the room of your mind and all you can feel is lonely, because when you needed them most, they left. And it's not that your'e particularly mad at them, it's that you're mad at yourself for letting it happen. You watched them slip away, and there was nothing you could do to stop it._

Peter stares down at his words and reads them over and over and over again until their burned inside his skull. He feels this loneliness, he _knows_ he can feel it. But why does he feel so hollow?

FRIDAY slides a small tray with food and water through a small compartment by the door of his bedroom. The boy sighs and gets on with it, eating though not tasting, and drinking without the satisfaction. It doesn't matter to him anymore, so why should it matter to anyone else?

-

Peter opens the door and walks out for the first time in a long time, searching the place for anyone to cling on to. He needs someone to tell him to stay, someone who _wants_ him to stay.

The boy senses someone walking around the corner, and so he ducks behind the other, waiting to see who it is.

Steve Rogers walks briskly but not too fast over to the elevator, and Peter watches his motions.

_How can he feel that relaxed? How can he be so _perfect_ and not care about what is to come?_

Peter shakes his head and clear his thoughts and wanders down another hall, hoping to run into Pepper or Tony. It fascinates him that he can control his thoughts so easily like that, but it also makes him wonder why he can't push away the dark ones that come late at night.

"Peter?" A voice says sleepily behind him, and he turns around quickly.

Harley Keener stands in the doorway, rubbing his eyes and opening and closing them slowly. The t-shirt and sweatpants fit the boy loosely, no doubt some of the clothing his mentor's. And as Peter's eyes well up with tears, he can't help but run over to him.

"Harley," Peter breathes, clutching onto the other boy as if he's about to disappear. Soft cries fill the hallway, and Harley squeezes his eyes shut, tightening his grip, hardly able to stand hearing his brother hurt.

"It's ok, I'm right here." Harley whispers, trying to think of what to do. The last time Peter came to him like this was when May died, and it wasn't this bad. Why was this so different?

Tony turns the corner and spots them both, then smiling softly and trusting that Harley will keep Peter alright until the morning.

-

"Harley," Peter says, almost in question as they sit down on the older brother's bed, getting ready to head back to sleep.

"Hm?"

"W- What if..." Peter looks away from Harley's gaze, unable to calm his shaking hands. "What if I have a nightmare again?"

"You won't," the response comes almost immediately from Harley, wanting to make sure that Peter felt safe. "You won't, ok? Not as long as I'm here. You're safe. Nothing can hurt you-"

"But something can hurt you, Harley! Don't you get that?" Peter's eyes well up with tears once more, and his anger and sadness swirl together, making for a perfect storm as he looks into his brother's chestnut eyes. "Something can hurt _you_, and I don't know if I can stand seeing that happen." Peter whispers, almost afraid of his own voice and thoughts as he looks away.

"It's not going to happen, ok Peter? Please believe me on this."

-

Harley was wrong. God, he was _so wrong_.

Peter didn't have nightmares, he had night terrors.

Night terrors are worse than nightmares for Peter, and well, for anyone else in this matter. They left you so frozen in pure fear after the dream, that it's hard to even function properly.

Harley woke up to Peter screams, the loud yells of trying to save Ben, calling for help. It was almost as terrifying to the older boy, and he tried so hard to wake Peter up, but nothing was working until he shook him one last time as hard as he could. Harley glanced at the clock, taking note that it was 5AM in the morning, so it would hardly matter if they went back to sleep or not.

"Peter, it's me, Harley." Harley tried to reassure him, but Peter pushed him away, pure terror in his eyes as he tried to process where he was and what was happening.

"Get away! Go away, go away, go away..." Peter kept repeating, curling up into a ball, away from Harley. Slowly, Harley tried to get closer, reassuring Peter that it was only a dream, that it wasn't happening.

A few deep breaths later, Peter seemed calm enough to realize that his brother was there, the he was ok and sitting in front of him.

"Harley," Peter whispers, brought back to reality. "Harley, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, I'm so- sorry." Peter rambles and stumbles on his words. "You n- need your sleep and-"

"_Peter_," Harley says firmly, touching the younger boy's arm slightly, ignoring the way he flinches. "It's ok. You're safe, alright?" Harley tries to search Peter's eyes for some hope, reassurance, for _something_, but all he sees is fear.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispers, looking hopeless. Harley sits next to the smaller boy, their shoulders tight against each other. Peter lies his head on his older brother's shoulder, silent cries filling the atmosphere around them as Harley wraps himself around Peter.

"We're going to be ok, Peter, I promise."

-

Tony let the boys sleep in the next day, smiling softly when he opened their door the next morning only to find them tangled up and in a deep sleep. The day consisted of learning new fighting sequences with Natasha, and learning some more Russian as she cussed him out while training.

Harley interrupted their last session with a sleepy knock on the door, still rubbing his eyes from the grogginess. "Dad? Peter's sick."

Tony follows half-asleep Harley back to their room, having to nudge him along most of the time. The kid explains how Peter was shivering after they had gone back to sleep after his nightmare, and the fever that FRIDAY had reported when they both woke up. As they made it to the boys' room, Tony saw the sick looking Peter in the bathroom with his head in the toilet.

"Oh, Pete." He breathes, sending Harley to get some meds from Bruce, (the ones that were specialized for Peter.) He crouches down next to the now pale looking boy, reassuring him that it would be ok. Tony turns on the shower, wiping off Peter's mouth as he helps him up from the cold tiles. Then, gathering some pants and a shirt from his room, bringing them and setting them inside the bathroom, he leaves soon after.

"Dad?" Peter questions the empty room after he emerges from the steamy bathroom. His white t-shirt makes him feel hot, and he had to find some basketball shorts lying around because he couldn't stand being that overheated.

"Hey, kid," Tony says, walking into the vacant room with only Peter in it. He clutches the boy's meds with a glass of water, instructing Pete to gulp them down.

After a couple of moments, they sit down on Peter's bed, and the boy lies his head on Tony's shoulder.

"I don't feel good, dad," Peter mumbles, already feeling nauseous again.

Tony sighs and pulls him closer. "I know, bud, but I'll make you better."

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhhh can you tell I gave up in the end lol


End file.
